


The Hardest thing

by syri_chii



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-23
Updated: 2012-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 17:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syri_chii/pseuds/syri_chii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sho's and Nino's relationship was okay until a newly hired staff, Jun, came.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hardest thing

**Author's Note:**

> Long time ago, Cy showed me a fic of hers. I cannot forget the fic even though it was still unfinished. Then an idea came up based on that story which resulted to this. This is somehow spin-off her story which I kinda added some things. By the way, title is from 98 Degrees' song.

Sho opens his eyes and sees the blinking digital clock placed on the night table. It says 4:15AM. He carefully gets up while untangling the arm around his bare waist. He cannot help himself to think how this man changed over the past months. The owner of the arm moves then. Sho freezes just in time. He knows that he will ask where he will be going. Few still moments, an even breathing is heard. Sho manages to get out the bed after struggling five minutes. He stands up and finds himself only in underpants. He quickly and quietly gathers his clothes lying all over the floor. Before he leaves, he makes another look at the person peacefully sleeping on the bed.

 

Nino wakes up and is surprised to find an arm draping on him. He turns on the other side and discovers Sho, already awake, looking at him.

"Morning." Sho's eyes look puffy and tired. The eyebags seem to be getting darker which make Nino more worried.

"I didn't notice you slip in. What time did you got home?" Nino leans closer. His eyes are half-closed.

"Around 5, I guess."

Nino's eyes shoot open and glance at the clock hanging above the door. It's past 7.

"Wanna take an off? I can call the office and tell ---" Nino is in act of getting up when Sho catches him, arms encircle around his body. Sho buries his face against Nino's chest. Nino remains still. They stay in that position for a while. After some time, when Nino thinks Sho has already asleep, he reaches for his phone and makes a call.

Sho and Nino are working in the same company but in different department, Sho in planning while Nino in designing section. But their relationship started way back during their high school days. From classmates, they became friends and later on became partners. They almost grew up with each other.

Of course, every relationship has its own rough patch and that said Sho and Nino's relationship was not an exception. Every now and then, they would argue and fight. The cause could be over trivial things or misunderstandings but at the end of the day, they reconciled because they did not like the idea of getting on the bed, still fighting.

However, lately Nino noticed something was off with Sho. Often, Sho was pre-occupied by something. Nino had tried to ask Sho but the later would just say it was nothing. Sometimes, Sho would snap but Nino well that Sho has always a short temper so in the end, he stopped asking.

Sho did not mean to snap at Nino. It's just that Nino has been asking a lot and Sho knew that when Nino started asking it only meant that Nino was suspicious. It was not Nino's nature to question. That's why Sho's fear worsened, his fear that rooted few months ago.

To be honest, Sho could not remember how everything started. The planning just had a new employee. The new guy's name is Matsumoto Jun; tall and lean guy who has always a serious face and emitted a cool aura around him.

Sho's intention was to help the new guy since the said guy was Sho's subordinate. That was really it. However, one planning section's party changed Sho's mind.

Sho thought it was a fling, just a fling. Because Nino was busy, too busy at work that he has no time with him, Sho said to himself.

But little did he know he was the one to be blamed. And before he realized how big the mess he created, it was beyond repair.

 

Sho slowly crawls his way out the bed in search of the time. The usual digital clock is nowhere to be seen. Jun must probably remove it, he wonders. He picks up the clothes when he hears the sheet move.

"Sho-kun?"

Sho's blood runs cold at the voice he just heard. He lifts his head and finds Nino with a confused look, lying on the bed. Nino notices the clothes on Sho's hand.

"Where are you going at this," Nino checks at the clock hanging on the wall. "At 3 in the morning?"

Before Sho could answer, Nino makes a space for him and beckons him to climb back to bed. Sho drops the clothes and gets back on bed, back to Nino’s side.

Sho knows that Nino knows something. Nino is not stupid. But for now, he lets Nino pretends. Before sleep overcomes, Sho wonders when he will be honest.

 

\----

 

Jun was a newly hired employee at Sho's workplace. It was his very first job that's why he did not know much but he had no one who he can ask about. You see, he was bad at talking but people have mistaken him for a reserved guy. However someone approached him, the assistant head named Sakurai Sho.

It was supposed to be a one night stand that was meant to be forgotten. Sho drank too much and Jun could no longer think properly. It was entirely the alcohol's fault but both knew well it was not the truth. The one night they shared turned something else. Now, they regularly meet up, usually after work. Sho would call home and told he had to do some overtime. But after the deed, Sho always went back home no matter what time they finished.

Jun has no intention. He does not even know that Sho was together with someone until he accidentally saw them one night on his way home. By the time Jun realized what they are doing, it was already too late. He tried to cut off his ties with Sho, distanced himself, and even changed his numbers twice. Yet Sho was able to get hold of him. He got so attached to Sho, used to be with him.

The hardest thing is to pretend you're not affected, to feel nothing whenever you see the one you love is with another one.

All Jun can do now is to wait, wait for Sho to be the one to say the words because he could not say them. He prepares himself but no matter how much he prepared the words still and will always sting. It will always be different when the person actually says it. Once words are said, they can be no longer take back.

 

"Let's stop this."

Jun hears Sho said the words. Sho is sitting at the edge of the bed, his bare back turn to Jun. Silence floats over them as Jun tries to keep himself together. Jun does not move from his position. He thinks of the times they have shared this bed.

Sho gets out the bed, their bed for the last time. He takes his clothes, lying on the floor.

"Sho?"

Sho stops by the door, hand already on the knob.

"Did you ever love me? Even a little?"

Jun waits for a reply because he hopes a little even if he knows he has no right to ask.

"Goodbye Jun."

The sound of the door shut close echoes all over the room. After a few minutes of silence, Jun's heart scatters.

 

The next morning, Jun submits his resignation letter to the chief who is shocked because Jun is an asset to the company. Jun apologizes and hopes his letter will be considered.

On his way to pick his stuff, Jun glances at Sho's work area. It is empty. His desk is clean but his things are still there.

Jun briefly says his thanks to his co-workers then leaves. He gets on the elevator. As the elevator door closes, Jun catches a glimpse of the person displayed on Sho's phone, standing outside the elevator cart.

Their eyes meet for a second. Everything flashes in Jun's mind. Emotions surge in, making Jun feel uneasy. He grips tight on the box containing his stuffs. The door shut closes on him.

 

\----

"Nino."

Nino's eyes turn away from the elevator he’s looking at and shift them to the owner of the voice who calls out to him.

“Is there something wrong?”

Nino shakes his head and begins to move on. “It’s nothing. Come on,” he replies as he tugs the person’s arm and drags him.

 

Nino arrives early at the restaurant. He finds the most reserved spot and sits there, waiting. A waiter comes by and asks for his order.

“A cup of tea will do,” he replies.

After the waiter left, Nino is left by himself thinking a lot of things going on with his mind, things he has been avoiding for the few months.

He feels dread and anxiety as he waits. Lately, he has been keeping himself busy with work. A good friend and co-worker of his was kind enough to accompany him for drinks when he felt not coming back to his and Sho’s apartment.

Strange, he used to call it their apartment but now it is his and Sho’s.

There was something wrong on with his relationship with Sho. And Nino knows he is partly blamed. If only he saw it quickly then perhaps everything would be okay. But he failed to notice the small hole. And by the time he realized, it was already so big, it can no longer be fixed.

Few minutes later, Sho arrives as well.

“Hey, I’m sorry.”

Nino looks up and sees Sho standing in front of him. His hair is combed and his clothes are ironed. Sho takes the seat, waves at the waiter to ask for a glass of water.

“So, what do you want to talk about hm?”

Nino stares at him for a while, takes a deep breath and tells the thing he has been thinking for the past few months.

“Let’s break up.”

The silence is deafening. Time stands still. It feels like the world around them stops moving.

“Are you—but—why?” Sho’s words are messed up as his mind and heart. He intently looks at Nino, waiting for an answer, explanation or anything.

“I can tell you a lot of reasons why we’re breaking up but I don’t think any one of those will be valid to you.”

Sho reaches Nino’s hand on the other side.

“Kazu, tell me. Maybe we can work this thing out.” Sho’s voice is small and quiet. Nino for a moment contemplates how he will miss hearing that voice before he meets Sho’s eyes.

“No, Sho. We cannot work this thing out anymore. This thing is already broken. It can no longer be mended. You should know better.”

“Is this—about,”

Sho doesn’t even continue what he’s about to say because Nino already let go of his hand.

“This,” Nino instead answers, “is for the better.” _For the three of us_

Nino stands up and walks steadily out the place, not even turning around.

 _Don’t look back. Don’t you dare look back._

Nino’s heart is beating fast. His chest hurts and he’s breathing so hard. There are some people looking at him as he strides the street. He pays no attention as he continues to move, move forward to the uncertain future that waits for him.


End file.
